Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
