Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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