he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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