I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext me about skeletons
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize