yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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