at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
