I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
