I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
false alarm, still single
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
