i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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