So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
