I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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