Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
