I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
