Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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