so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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