well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
