David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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