At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
she pinky promised me she was 18
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
3pm strippers are depressing
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Randomize
