..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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