he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
