Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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