Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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