I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
