how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
