She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
