You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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