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he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
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