He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level