This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
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Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.