He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.