...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
