Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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