I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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