I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
