Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Randomize