How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
