Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
