I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I think I just sharted jello shots
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