Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
