Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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