I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
