How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
