The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
