Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
