this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
