Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
