her vagine was all disorganized.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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