I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
