Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Help. Why am I so naked?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
