it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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