So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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