I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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