It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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