Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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