Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
