i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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