I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
