please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
