May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
We smell like vodka and hangover
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