I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We have so much sex to catch up on
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
