I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
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