does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
