Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize