Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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