They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Dear god my vagina.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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