get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Let's paint friendship bongs
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
