just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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