I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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