So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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