I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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