Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
